The Line is Gone

posted by Mel

You’d really have to squint to see anything there. We were pregnant for 4 days. Now we’re not. I think it’s a chemical pregnancy or an early miscarriage, depending on who you ask. I am shattered, but Vanessa is helping me slowly begin to pick the pieces back up.

Most couples would never even have known about this pregnancy. We did. Try as we might to be sensible and cautious about it, we were already building dreams on it. We’d never seen a second line before. We looked at baby furniture and tried on the name “parents.” It seems ridiculous to say more. It aches.

We’ve been here before, but it always looks a little different. Neither of us is up for IVF again– at least not right now, but I’m sick of waiting and need to get started right away doing something. We still have options. They’re still good options. I’ve signed us up for an adoption seminar early next month. Vanessa is expressing a willingness to carry. We’re going to discuss this with our RE as soon as we can get in to see him. I still have to go in for the blasted beta on Tuesday. Going through the motions with the estrace and prenatals and bloody PIO shots until then.