Category Archives: Gettin’ Knocked Up


posted by Mel

One year ago today Vanessa and I showed up at Dr. G’s office around 7 AM hauling a metal tank. After 17 failed IUIs, a failed IVF, and a miscarriage after IVF using Vanessa’s eggs, I had undergone immunological screening that came back positive for alloimmunity. The RE said we should try IUI again w/the addition of aspirin and L0ven0x, so we made one last attempt, simultaneously shelling out $4000 to begin the process of domestic open adoption.

I was going through the motions. I was sick of injections, sick of the progesterone rollercoaster, sick of hoping and waiting, finally beginning to accept that no baby would ever come through my body. There were 5 follicles in play that month (had taken Fem@r@ and F0ll!st!m), and I remember poking fun at myself for ever having been worried about high order multiples during previous IUI cycles where I’d had far more follicles than this and not gotten pregnant.

One of those follicles contained the egg that got together with the contents of that tank and made this:

Buffy with her puppy

Buffy with her puppy



Filed under DogBlog, Gettin' Knocked Up, Infertility, Young'n

NST #2

posted by Mel

Another really good non-stress test this morning. Simone was very reactive. Might have had something to do with the egg & cheese breakfast burrito, apple, and cranberry juice I scarfed down hoping to make her move so that we could get out of there more quickly. Many thanks to Katie who accompanied me this morning. I am trying to always take someone with me so that I’m not alone if I ever get bad news or am made to stay in the hospital. This Thursday my mom is on deck and totally psyched to be attending her very first ultrasound. I’m hoping to play the grandma card to get some measurements taken, because the nurse today told me that they probably wouldn’t take any at this biophysical profile. It has been two weeks since measurements were last taken. Because they weren’t good then I really want to know how much she has grown. I HOPE she has grown because I gained 2 lbs since last Wednesday! That’s right– 2 lbs in 5 days. I’m not complaining, though. I’m thrilled. That brings me to 13 lbs so far for this pregnancy. I’m hoping the sudden weight gain is not just turkey, dressing, and too many cookies and that it means she’s having some kind of miracle growth spurt.

In other news, a very nice man I work with asked me today if I was dilating at all yet. Um, no. It was asked out of concern and very well meant I know, but… inappropriate much?! It is probably the most personal question I’ve been asked yet. Somehow seems even more personal than when people ask about the mechanics of artificial insemination and IVF, details I actually never mind providing because I love to educate others about ART.


Filed under Gettin' Knocked Up, Preggo


posted by Mel

Chemical pregnancy. The beta this morning was just barely positive– not high enough to sustain. 5.7 at 14dp5dt. I knew it was coming, but does it ever suck to be right. Follow-up appointment with our RE next Friday.


Filed under Gettin' Knocked Up

The Line is Gone

posted by Mel

You’d really have to squint to see anything there. We were pregnant for 4 days. Now we’re not. I think it’s a chemical pregnancy or an early miscarriage, depending on who you ask. I am shattered, but Vanessa is helping me slowly begin to pick the pieces back up.

Most couples would never even have known about this pregnancy. We did. Try as we might to be sensible and cautious about it, we were already building dreams on it. We’d never seen a second line before. We looked at baby furniture and tried on the name “parents.” It seems ridiculous to say more. It aches.

We’ve been here before, but it always looks a little different. Neither of us is up for IVF again– at least not right now, but I’m sick of waiting and need to get started right away doing something. We still have options. They’re still good options. I’ve signed us up for an adoption seminar early next month. Vanessa is expressing a willingness to carry. We’re going to discuss this with our RE as soon as we can get in to see him. I still have to go in for the blasted beta on Tuesday. Going through the motions with the estrace and prenatals and bloody PIO shots until then.


Filed under Gettin' Knocked Up

We did it

posted by Mel

I have two little Vanessa embryos on-board– one early blastocyst and one morula. The embryologist said they were both still too compacted to grade, but both good quality and appropriate for this stage of development. She said she felt we had an excellent chance of success. It was actually kind of fun. The RE was running behind as usual, so I had time to empty my bladder and refill it. I stayed very zen about the whole thing, a first for me. I spent some time just breathing and meditating both before and after. Acupuncture this morning helped. The nurse actually gasped at how low my blood pressure was– a good thing. The best thing for these little ones right now is my uterus remaining a tranquil place. Afterwards I couldn’t hold back a little sob of gratitude. If this works, I will get to carry my partner’s child. It’s the greatest blessing I can imagine.


Filed under Gettin' Knocked Up

More info

posted by Mel 

They haven’t looked at the embryos again today, but I was able to get more information on what they were going by yesterday. So here’s the tally. Where grade 4 is the best and grade 1 is the worst, we have:

1 6-cell grade 3

1 5-cell grade 3

1 5-cell grade 2

2 4-cell grade 3

2 2-cell– not sure what grade those are, but the RE’s nurse acted like those probably wouldn’t continue to grow. I’m assuming they were 1s.

So we have 5 possible candidates for transfer tomorrow. I wish the quality was a little better, but I’ve also heard of many IVF pregnancies from lower than grade 4 embryos. The quality of the embryo has no bearing on the health of a resulting child. I’m remaining hopeful. It does make me nervous that we probably won’t have anything to freeze, since our clinic only freezes very high quality embryos.

We’ll have our transfer at 1 PM tomorrow.


Filed under Gettin' Knocked Up

Lucky 7

posted by Mel

7 of the embryos cleaved and are still in it. I didn’t get a lot of detail because the embryologist called us before I could call her, and when I tried to call back I couldn’t get her, but she left a voice mail on my cell. They range from 2 to 6 cells right now. Remember that some of them are a day behind because of some of the eggs having to be matured in vitro. We are ecstatic. I can’t wait to see them on Tuesday!


Filed under Gettin' Knocked Up