Monthly Archives: September 2007

Rockin’ Out

Posted by v.

Mom always listened to popular music. She always had to have some kind of background music on all the time. Even on the day she died, she had the radio on for awhile.

In her car, I found several tapes and CDs. This was a real treasure for me because I can just imagine her rockin’ out while driving down the street. This is the music she was listening to in the past four years of her life.

Some of the tapes I found –
Elton John Greatest Hits Volume II – This was my tape, but she had on 8-track when I was a kid.
Diamond Rio – Love a Little Stronger
Conway Twitty Greatest Hits
Toby Keith – How Do You Like Me Now?
Glass Tiger – The Thin Red Line
Hall & Oates – H20 (Leave me alone/I’m a family man/And my bark is much worse than my bite)
Foreigner – Agent Provocateur (She loved to torture me with Foreigner songs.)
Brooks and Dunn – Tight Rope
Eddit Rabbitt Greatest Hits (Oh yeah, that’s good stuff right there)
Tears For Fears – Songs From The Big Chair
Don Henley – The End of the Innocence
Rodney Crowell – Diamonds & Dirt (Personally, I love Roseanne Cash.)

Some of the CDs I found in her car –
The Cars Greatest Hits
Joe Diffie – A Thousand Winding Roads
Evanescence – Fallen
Hoobastank, Incubus
Linkin Park – Meteora
Nickelback – Silver Side Up
Shinedown – Leave a Whisper
Velvet Revolver – Contraband

Most of the tapes are music that I recall her listening to when I was a kid. The stuff on CDs is what she and my brother, Eric, listened to. I wouldn’t be surprised if she bought most, if not all, of these CDs.



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Mom made the papers

Posted by v.


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Mom’s Life Closed

Posted by v. 

Because Mom wasn’t a religious person, I wanted to keep her funeral services relatively secular. I conducted a simple “service” at the graveside yesterday where I read the following Emily Dickinson poem:

My life closed twice before its close;
It yet remains to see
If Immortality unveil
A third event to me,

So huge, so hopeless to conceive
As these that twice befell.
Parting is all we know of heaven,
And all we need of hell.


Filed under The way the world works

Mom had to go

Posted by v

I wanted to drop a quick note and let you know that we’re doing OK. I miss Mom. It feels like I should be rushing around to see her, feed her, or check on her. Instead, I have time. I’d rather have Mom.

 But it’s comforting to know that she’s not struggling. She couldn’t breathe any more. She got to the point where she struggled for every breath. Thankfully she was only really like that for about two days.

Visitation is scheduled for Tuesday, September 25th from 10am to 2pm at Little and Sons in Beech Grove.


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Funeral Time and Location

Visitation: Tuesday, September 25th from 10 AM to 2 PM @ Little & Sons in Beech Grove on Main Street.

Graveside Service immediately following visitation at New Crown Cemetary on Raymond Street on Indianapolis’ South side.

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The Day After

posted by Mel

First, I need to say that we really appreciate the thoughts and prayers of everyone who has commented, e-mailed, or called. We have a wonderful support network, which we know we will need very much in the months to come. Thank you all.

Today was rough, but we are muddling through it. We have to. Vanessa and I began the day at 4:15 (I couldn’t sleep– thoughts racing, heart racing– and then she couldn’t sleep) by driving all over Greenwood to find that there are NO all night restaurants there. We pulled into Cracker Barrel in Southport at 5:30 and talked and cried in the parking lot until they opened at 6. After breakfast we went back and began clearing out Peggy’s bedroom. It was early to do this, but it felt good to get started because it’s easy to be overwhelmed by the volume of work there is to be done. Found many things that broke our hearts– mine is breaking mostly because Vanessa’s is, and it’s hard to see her hurting so much. Made a trip to Goodwill to drop off the first load.

Left Eric at his mom’s, and Ness and I went home. She turned around immediately and went to her grandmother’s (paternal), while I got violent with the junk mail it seems like we’re always drowning in and cleared some things out. Gotta make room for the boy that’s coming to live with us now, and that means getting the house in order. Eric met us at our house around 11:30, and we began our all afternoon marathon– to the florist (not too terrible), the funeral home (infuriating), and the cemetary (excrutiating). It’s nearly 8 PM now, and we just got home. Eric went back to his mom’s. One thing at a time. He’s not ready to let that place go just yet, and I don’t blame him, but I worry about him being alone with his thoughts right now. I worry about him worrying.

 If you made it this far, you really deserve some funeral info, but I’ll post it separately for those who didn’t have your stamina. Someday maybe one of us will post about the experience of making these arrangements, which was more painful than it had to be. Death is such a racket.


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An End to Suffering

posted by Mel

Vanessa’s mom passed at 2:55 yesterday (Thursday) afternoon. After a rough morning, she went quickly and peacefully surrounded by people who loved and cared about her. Will post more about funeral arrangements as we can.


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