Posted by Mel
I’ve been awake since 1:30 this morning. I’ve been sleeping (trying at least) sitting up for the past couple of nights because when I lie down excess fluid pools around my lungs, and I wake up feeling like my chest is going to explode. I got on the scale at 5:30, and I’ve lost about 11 oz since yesterday. I’ve also lost an inch around my waist between yesterday morning and this morning so I’m hoping OHSS hell is over. It has been 8 days since retrieval and I’m still up over 5 lbs from where I was before we started stimming for IVF. I went up 8 lbs total.
I spend a lot of this middle-of-the-night time adoring a sleeping Vanessa (She’s probably going to leave me if I don’t quit kissing her feet) and thinking about the child we might have together someday. I’ve come to the conclusion that her eggs are going to make better babies than mine ever could have. Despite the fact that she grew up moving between two (heavily) smoking households, exclusively bottle-fed as a baby and afterwards raised almost entirely on white bread, bologna, diet soda, and snack cakes, Vanessa has no allergies at all. I, on the other hand, with my stable two-parent household and stay-at-home mom who breastfed me past 6 months and fed me fruits and vegetables at least twice a day, sniff, cough, and gag my way through Spring, Summer, and early Fall. At 34, Vanessa still has perfect vision. I’ve been wearing glasses since 1st grade and am legally blind in one eye.
Vanessa’s the brightest person I know. She seeks knowledge every single day, and I think she always has. Recently she pointed out a well-worn book sitting on her mom’s shelf as her childhood dictionary. It’s obvious she spent a lot of time looking up words grownups didn’t bother explaining. She never wastes time looking for someone to hand her an easy answer. She’s always looking not just for the “how” something works but also the “why.” She takes charge when things look dark, takes her responsibilities seriously, and expects and encourages others to live up to their potential. If she’s not challenged in her work, she’s not happy, so she’s always looking for the next great opportunity. She always seems to find it. If she loves you, you feel it all the time in everything she does.
I could keep going, but you get the picture. I couldn’t pick a better parent for my child and now the bonus is that our kid gets her genes. I’m thrilled out of my mind and terrified that it might not work.