posted by Melody
I’m a 12, now-a-days often a 14 on bottom, and a large, sometimes a medium, on top. I lost 100 lbs between 2003 and 2004 via a medically supervised weight loss program (no, not gastric bypass, contrary to what many of my co-workers believe). Since beginning trying to conceive a year ago, when I was a comfortable 12 and a medium, I’ve gained about 10 lbs. I often wonder if my “sizable” weight loss, which turned me into a svelte pile of weeping hypoglycemic mush whenever I go longer than two hours without eating, is playing a role in my trouble conceiving.
I spent my teens and my early 20s avoiding shopping trips with my slim friends because we couldn’t go to the same stores and I didn’t want them to know my size, calculating the distance between Lane Bryant and the nearest parking spot at the mall so that as few people as possible would see me with the bag, not even bothering to buy bathing suits, and shunning public exercise. Thank goddess I grew a pair of ovaries in my mid-20s and stopped caring so much what other people thought. That was largely because one of my friends and co-workers, who I respected a lot and thought looked pretty good in her clothes, told me her size (22W) and showed me her stomach. That gave me the courage to buy myself better-quality, more form-fitting clothes, to take some fashion risks. I got a good response everywhere I went.
It was only after I built some self-confidence that I was able to take positive steps to improve my health. I did take the weight off through diet and exercise, but no, I don’t exercise enough now. I have kept almost all of it off only because Vanessa and I split nearly every meal we eat out in a restaurant, and we try to watch our portion sizes at home. If I had to do it alone, I would find it much more difficult. Baking is a creative outlet for me, and I don’t like waste.
While I was physically unhealthy at 262 lbs, I was much more mentally so. I think Joy Nash, the creator of the Fat Rant video, is right. We should share our weight. Knowledge is power. It can empower.
*I think people, especially women, should share their salaries, too, but I think my workplace would frown on me doing that on the Web, so I demure for now.
**Also, if you didn’t get it from the title of the last post, I weigh 170.