Keeping (or NOT keeping) the faith

Do folks think faith that it will happen plays a role in getting or not getting pregnant? Sometimes I feel like I’m just going through the motions of trying to get pregnant. Deep down, I’m not sure I believe it will ever really happen. I’m not sure faith is something I can muster at this point– grim determination perhaps.

Cancer patients get encouragement to keep a positive attitude. In fact, they get chastised for not keeping a positive attitude, but studies have shown that a positive outlook actually has no impact on survival. A positive outlook does help keep you sane, perhaps, but it won’t keep you living. Maybe a positive outlook would be good for my mental well-being, but it still doesn’t help us get what we ultimately want– a baby. Or does it? Anybody have any thoughts on this? Are there any studies on fertility rates among optimists vs. pessimists? I’ve never been in the pessimist camp before, but months of unsuccessful TTC wear a girl down.

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5 Comments

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5 responses to “Keeping (or NOT keeping) the faith

  1. Co

    I don’t know of any studies. But I don’t think pessimism makes one less likely to get pregnant. If only it were that simple.

    And it is hard to keep one’s spirits up. This is completely draining.

  2. Rebecca

    I don’t think it matters whether you are positive or negative. But I can say that sometimes even if you are the most happiest, everything will work out for the best, nothing can get me down type of person. If things DON’T GO YOUR WAY, will you always be that happy person , I doubt it.. I know when I was trying to get pregnant, the doctors told me that I would NEVER have children.. And look at me now, if they hadn’t done my hysterectomy after I had Tammara, now 9 years old, I would be waist deep in kids.. I love children, but there really is only so much you can handle of kids (even if they aren’t yours, especially if they are your own.) But I do know ONE things and that is if it is meant to happen it will happen one way or another… Babies happen when you least expect them too.. And I really wish you both the best of luck.. When I didn’t think I was going to get pregnant, I tried an herbal tea for the fun of it (called Mother’s Milk). Close to 4 months later, I was pregnant. Try little things like that, if you don’t believe it will work then maybe it will…Just to prove you wrong..

  3. This is thought-provoking. I’m not a TTCer but I think the question you are asking has a universal application when it comes to the whole mind-body connection. I’m definitely a doubting Thomas when it comes to faith in the sense of religion so I sort of furrow my brow when I hear people say god gave me this baby, god cured my cancer etc. (my catholic mother is cursing me as I write that…). But I do believe firmly that you cannot seperate the health of your mind and body. Mainly because my mental health has been questionable this year and I notice it all over the place in my body. Stress causes heart attacks. I don’t necessarily think you can cure a disease or make something happen by being Pollyanna about it, but if you are stressed, depressed, down or discouraged, I do believe there are physcial consequences. I don’t know if infertility is one of them. And clearly you were not beaten down at the start of the process. It’s a chicken and an egg thing for you at this point. You weren’t discouraged and it didn’t happen. Now you are discouraged and it’s not happening.

  4. I feel so bad about this and I wish I could fix it.
    I’m with Katie. I don’t have any sort of evidence to back up my opinion other than personal experience, but I definitely see a correlation between stress and feeling like crap. It’s a cycle; the more down I feel, the more the rest of me hurts. And the more I feel bad all over, the worse I feel emotionally. There’s a definite connection between my head/heart and body. During the most stressful, highly emotional times of my life, I either lost or gained a lot of weight, slept often or not at all, my hair started to fall out, and after a really bad car accident about ten years ago, I stopped having a period for a while . . . It’s a case-by-case basis how each person’s body responds to their emotional state, but it’s possible for a woman under high stress to stop menstruating or ovulating. I’m not saying becoming a Mouseketeer will do anything, just throwing some stuff out there. But the chicken-and-egg thing makes sense to me.
    Perhaps some counseling might help, or taking a break from everything for a different perspective?

  5. Yes, yes, yes! All so true.

    I appreciate, though, the scientists who point out that no amount of positive attitude and relaxing will magically make you fertile. Attitudinal factors can only interact with the many physical factors involved. (So, let me have my pessimism!)

    Oh, to be naive again!

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