The Law of Averages does not apply

I don't think there's anyone that I'm not making crazy with my obsessiveness about ovulation. Poor Vanessa groans if she hears anything like egg, ovum, or fertile (She's hearing it until 1AM these days and again at 6:30 to 7 AM when I get up to check my temperature. To tell the truth, she's being a trooper.), and the nurse at my gyno's office is about to put a block on my phone number.

I had a clear LH surge according to the ovulation predictor test I took this morning. That means I'm going to ovulate sometime within the next 24-36 hours. Historically, I have ovulated on this day of my cycle every month since at least January. I usually have a little cramping around mid-day to late afternoon on this day, which I take to be the moment of ovulation. According to Toni Weschler's book Taking Charge of Your Fertility, the egg lasts 6-12 hours. Regular sperm can live up to 72 hours, but I'm using frozen, which lasts only 24 hours. We inseminated yesterday at around 9:00 AM, so I'm assuming that sperm is no longer viable now. We inseminate again probably around 9:00 AM tomorrow.

Tell me if I'm doing the math wrong, but say I ovulate at 2 PM today– even if that egg lasts a whole 12 hours, it's going to miss its hook-up with any one of the million sperm that are going to be making their way into my uterus tomorrow morning.

I don't understand my doctor's day before and day after protocol for artificial insemination. It seems to me like if you're tracking accurately, that's usually going to be too early and too late and never right on time. It's one thing if you've got fresh specimens you're working with, but we don't.

The nurse at the doctor's office (not the nurse practitioner who inseminated me but my gyno's triage assistant) says that the egg lasts 24 hours (clearly different from what I've read- Who's right?) and that average sperm can last 72 hours (not frozen!!). I think she thinks I'm insane. Yeah, that might work for the "average" woman in the "average" situation, but I'm not either of those things. To tell you the truth, nobody is. Like I told Vanessa this morning, there's no such thing as the "average" woman. There are only averages.

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5 Comments

Filed under The way the world works, Young'n

5 responses to “The Law of Averages does not apply

  1. This is all very confusing. I think you’ve hit the key here – “they” (doctors, nurses,books) are all telling you averages which is just that, an average or baseline to operate from. Based on the coversations we have had, YOU know your own body the best – if it’s your instinct to imseminate earlier or later based on your own body, call your doc. Rely on your instincts.

  2. I forgot to mention one thing in my last comment – how does anyone ever even get pregnant? Based on your research and whatnot, the window of time in which this could actually happen is a sliver in the continuum of time. Next time someone tells me their pregnancy was an accident, I’m going to have to laugh! This is more complicated than a Space Shuttle launch.

  3. At the risk of sounding like a Precious Moment’s figurine, as far as I’m concerned every pregnancy is a freaking miracle.

  4. There’s no doubt the pressure is high. It’s frustrating when caregivers don’t listen to you. We’re trying not to think about the money involved. Because when you remember that you have $500 a pop on the line, then it’s easy for the frustration to bubble into desperation. Once we conceive, we’ll laugh about all this, I’m sure.

    As if we don’t have enough going on, Rosie’s in heat. We had to beat the dogs off her at the bark park last night.

  5. No! She’s in heat???? So she really was not spayed. The Humane Society needs to change that “we are 98% sure” to “we actually have no idea.”

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